No one noticed

How do you feel when no one notices?

When they don’t notice your new car, or your new outfit, your accomplishment? The one you spent so much time thinking about and wondering how people would react when they saw it.

Did you build up an entire mental image of what they would say when they saw your new thing?

Were you disappointed when they didn’t react the way you thought they would?

It’s normal to feel a sense of disappointment when people don’t notice something you thought would be big deal, but how long you hang on to the feeling is up to you. When someone doesn’t notice it’s usually not out of malice, they are just preoccupied with what is important to them at that moment.

Do what you want to do, and do it for yourself. If others notice then great, but if they don’t it’s okay. I’m sure there has been a time when you haven’t noticed too.

Patience

How often do you exercise real patience?

Phrases like, ‘I’m being patient with you,’ ‘waiting patiently,’ and ‘you’re trying my patience’ are easy to say but are commonly used when there is in fact very little patience being used.

Patience is all about control over your own emotions, reactions and responses more than anything else.  It’s your ability to wait when things don’t go as planned, and cope when people don’t behave the way you want them to.

Patience also goes hand in hand with faith. When you’re pursuing a goal or mission and you’re not seeing results as fast as you’d like but you know that you’re committed, then patience will help you stay the course.

Patience is a skill that you can learn to develop by being mindful about what triggers you to frustration or anger. When you find yourself being impatient then ask yourself if your behavior will improve the situation. More often than not you’ll find that being patient will help you remain calm and will also help you gain new perspective on the situation.

Just one breath

When was the last time you felt that your mind was truly at peace? No internal chatter, no feelings of being overwhelmed, no judging yourself or others, just peace?

If you’re like most then you probably can’t remember your last moment of mental peace, and that’s okay because being human means always being on. But you can still create tiny opportunities for you to experience momentary peace.

The easiest way to create momentary peace is to focus on your breathing. Try it right now. Close your eyes and take a deep breath and feel the air as it passes through your nose, just one deep breath. Hold it for a second and then release it.

In that breath lives your entire life. And it is in that breath you will find your momentary peace. It is in the simple yet powerful act of breathing that is the difference between you existing or not.

So the next time you feel as though you need a moment of peace, close your eyes and take one deep breath, focus on the entire experience and appreciate that ultimately your entire life is a collection of just one breath.

Unsubscribe

What if you unsubscribed from everything for a day?

Unsubscribed from:

Text messages

Email

Phone calls

Social media

Traditional Media

How much time would you get back?

I know it sounds impossible but there was a time when you were never subscribed to anything and you could just be you.

If a day is too long and you get withdrawal syndromes just thinking about it, then try it for an hour, or even 30 minutes. By the way if the idea of unsubscribing does cause you anxiety then perhaps that should tell you something.

Go ahead and unsubscribe, I promise you the world will still go on and everyone vying for your attention will still be there when you re-subscribe.

Your Intuition

Do you ever get a gut feeling about something?

Have you ever been told to just ‘trust your gut?’

If you’ve listened to ‘successful’ business people or even athletes you’ll hear them say that they often rely on their gut feelings despite what data tells them.

Recently there’s been an increase in research showing that humans have what is being described as two brains. You have a similar set of neurons in your stomach as the ones that make up your brain. And just like your brain your gut will give you messages but you have to learn to listen to it.

Your gut feelings are your intuition. It’s your intuition to move, to do, or to take action towards or away from things. Learning to trust your intuition comes with practice and is not easy because it might defy what you think is logical, especially if you’re the analytical type. But give your intuition a chance, listen to it and see what it does for you.

Move the Comma

What can I do?

What, can I do?

Can you see how the comma changes the entire meaning of the question?

If you use the first ‘what can I do’ when faced with a challenge then you feel as though you have no control. On the other hand if you use the second one then your mind switches to finding ideas and resources to overcome the challenge.

This is a simple mental adjustment but can make a huge difference in your life. It moves you from passive position to an active role.

You can also use this tactic in anything you’re trying accomplish. Choose something you want to get done, ask yourself ‘what, can I do?’ And then make a list of 3-5 really small things you can do right now to get you started.

Develop the habit of moving the comma, and see how it changes your life.

Fire Drill

Do you remember practicing fire drills at school or even at work?

The reason for the practice was to ensure you behaved in a way that would ensure your safety in the event of a real fire.

Well what if today

Your car didn’t start.

You burned breakfast.

You were late to work.

You got in to an argument with someone.

Your kids were sick.

This is a very short list of the potential fires that can occur in your life and obviously some are worse than others.

The question is how will you respond when these things happen?

What does your emotional fire drill look like?

Now you might think that you don’t know how you’ll respond until one of them does happen, but you can practice how you will respond by defining what your core values are and what is important to you. Once you know deep down who you are, then responding to the next fire will be second nature.

Happily ever after

Do you remember the fairy tales where the prince and princess ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after?

Do you know what happened the day after they rode off?

Nothing! It was a fairytale and written to make you feel good for a moment. It was not a representation of real life.

Hopefully somewhere along the way you’ve realized that life rarely imitates art because life is a continuum of events not a snapshot in time.

Fortunately though, if you focus on creating moments of happiness for yourself and the people around you, then the accumulation of those moments can result in a happily ever after ending.

Overwhelmed?

What is the most overwhelming thing you’re doing right now?

Is it parenting, working, studying, being a spouse, trying to lose weight?

Is it all of the above and more?

If it’s really that overwhelming then stop doing it right now.

There you go, you’re off the hook. Does life feel better now?

Or do you think I’ve lost my mind?

Well maybe I have. But stick with me for a minute.

At any one time you have an entire jumbled mess of things going on in your mind so what you’re experiencing is overload. And when you are overloaded everything seems difficult because your mind can’t think clearly.

One way to alleviate the feeling of overwhelm is practicing not being in all modes at one time. This doesn’t mean that you can stop being a parent, spouse or stop studying etc. it just means that you learn to switch between modes, even for a brief period of time.

The best way to start dealing with the feeling of being overwhelmed is by stopping, even if it’s just for a few moments.  To re-center yourself and on the role or task at hand and ask yourself what is important right now and only focus on that.

Subconscious choices

How many subconscious choices will you make today?

Probably more than you can keep track of.

Some of your subconscious choices will be as simple as which lane to drive in and others will determine your how your live your life.

Your subconscious choices are tied directly to your beliefs and values. And your beliefs and values will drive your behavior because they will prioritize your actions.

For example, if you don’t have a belief or value that says great health is extremely important then you will behave and act accordingly. And during the day your subconscious choices will be to not exercise and allow yourself excuses to eat unhealthy food.

The way to leverage your subconscious thoughts is to take the time to clearly define what is important to you. Once you bring this level of clarity to your mind then your subconscious choices will begin to drive you towards the outcomes you want.