Are you waiting for permission to do your thing?

Are you waiting for permission to take the next step?

Are you waiting for permission to be you?

Who are you waiting for permission from?

Are you afraid that you’ll rock the boat or upset someone?

The truth is that you might and that’s why you’ve decided to play it safe.

There will never be a time when you will please everybody, no matter how hard you try. I’m not saying you shouldn’t care about people’s feelings or disregard them, but don’t use them as excuses you hold yourself back.

Give yourself permission to explore, to grow, to try, to fail, to experiment, so that you can experience your life to the fullest.

What is the limit to how great you can be in any area of your life?

Do you believe that you are capable of more, or have you already decided that you can only be as good as you currently are?

In order to move beyond you current abilities you have to acquire and implement new skills and knowledge.  And this is where most people stumble because they have the desire to move past their limitations but they don’t take the time to work on themselves.

Evolution is all about going beyond limitations. In nature only organisms that develop new skills are the ones that survive and eventually thrive.

Learn to question what you think your limitations are. Ask yourself why you think that you can only do so much, why do you doubt yourself. What beliefs led you to your limitations?

There is an abundance of resources readily available at your fingertips where you can find information that will help you improve any area of your life and move you beyond where you currently are. The only reason for you to stay within your current limits is because you choose to, not because you have to.

How do you feel when no one notices?

When they don’t notice your new car, or your new outfit, your accomplishment? The one you spent so much time thinking about and wondering how people would react when they saw it.

Did you build up an entire mental image of what they would say when they saw your new thing?

Were you disappointed when they didn’t react the way you thought they would?

It’s normal to feel a sense of disappointment when people don’t notice something you thought would be big deal, but how long you hang on to the feeling is up to you. When someone doesn’t notice it’s usually not out of malice, they are just preoccupied with what is important to them at that moment.

Do what you want to do, and do it for yourself. If others notice then great, but if they don’t it’s okay. I’m sure there has been a time when you haven’t noticed too.

How often do you exercise real patience?

Phrases like, ‘I’m being patient with you,’ ‘waiting patiently,’ and ‘you’re trying my patience’ are easy to say but are commonly used when there is in fact very little patience being used.

Patience is all about control over your own emotions, reactions and responses more than anything else.  It’s your ability to wait when things don’t go as planned, and cope when people don’t behave the way you want them to.

Patience also goes hand in hand with faith. When you’re pursuing a goal or mission and you’re not seeing results as fast as you’d like but you know that you’re committed, then patience will help you stay the course.

Patience is a skill that you can learn to develop by being mindful about what triggers you to frustration or anger. When you find yourself being impatient then ask yourself if your behavior will improve the situation. More often than not you’ll find that being patient will help you remain calm and will also help you gain new perspective on the situation.

When was the last time you felt that your mind was truly at peace? No internal chatter, no feelings of being overwhelmed, no judging yourself or others, just peace?

If you’re like most then you probably can’t remember your last moment of mental peace, and that’s okay because being human means always being on. But you can still create tiny opportunities for you to experience momentary peace.

The easiest way to create momentary peace is to focus on your breathing. Try it right now. Close your eyes and take a deep breath and feel the air as it passes through your nose, just one deep breath. Hold it for a second and then release it.

In that breath lives your entire life. And it is in that breath you will find your momentary peace. It is in the simple yet powerful act of breathing that is the difference between you existing or not.

So the next time you feel as though you need a moment of peace, close your eyes and take one deep breath, focus on the entire experience and appreciate that ultimately your entire life is a collection of just one breath.

What if you unsubscribed from everything for a day?

Unsubscribed from:

Text messages

Email

Phone calls

Social media

Traditional Media

How much time would you get back?

I know it sounds impossible but there was a time when you were never subscribed to anything and you could just be you.

If a day is too long and you get withdrawal syndromes just thinking about it, then try it for an hour, or even 30 minutes. By the way if the idea of unsubscribing does cause you anxiety then perhaps that should tell you something.

Go ahead and unsubscribe, I promise you the world will still go on and everyone vying for your attention will still be there when you re-subscribe.

Do you ever get a gut feeling about something?

Have you ever been told to just ‘trust your gut?’

If you’ve listened to ‘successful’ business people or even athletes you’ll hear them say that they often rely on their gut feelings despite what data tells them.

Recently there’s been an increase in research showing that humans have what is being described as two brains. You have a similar set of neurons in your stomach as the ones that make up your brain. And just like your brain your gut will give you messages but you have to learn to listen to it.

Your gut feelings are your intuition. It’s your intuition to move, to do, or to take action towards or away from things. Learning to trust your intuition comes with practice and is not easy because it might defy what you think is logical, especially if you’re the analytical type. But give your intuition a chance, listen to it and see what it does for you.

Do you remember practicing fire drills at school or even at work?

The reason for the practice was to ensure you behaved in a way that would ensure your safety in the event of a real fire.

Well what if today

Your car didn’t start.

You burned breakfast.

You were late to work.

You got in to an argument with someone.

Your kids were sick.

This is a very short list of the potential fires that can occur in your life and obviously some are worse than others.

The question is how will you respond when these things happen?

What does your emotional fire drill look like?

Now you might think that you don’t know how you’ll respond until one of them does happen, but you can practice how you will respond by defining what your core values are and what is important to you. Once you know deep down who you are, then responding to the next fire will be second nature.

Do you remember the fairy tales where the prince and princess ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after?

Do you know what happened the day after they rode off?

Nothing! It was a fairytale and written to make you feel good for a moment. It was not a representation of real life.

Hopefully somewhere along the way you’ve realized that life rarely imitates art because life is a continuum of events not a snapshot in time.

Fortunately though, if you focus on creating moments of happiness for yourself and the people around you, then the accumulation of those moments can result in a happily ever after ending.

How many subconscious choices will you make today?

Probably more than you can keep track of.

Some of your subconscious choices will be as simple as which lane to drive in and others will determine your how your live your life.

Your subconscious choices are tied directly to your beliefs and values. And your beliefs and values will drive your behavior because they will prioritize your actions.

For example, if you don’t have a belief or value that says great health is extremely important then you will behave and act accordingly. And during the day your subconscious choices will be to not exercise and allow yourself excuses to eat unhealthy food.

The way to leverage your subconscious thoughts is to take the time to clearly define what is important to you. Once you bring this level of clarity to your mind then your subconscious choices will begin to drive you towards the outcomes you want.

You’ve planned the perfect weekend outdoor and it rains, now what?

You planned the perfect trip and it turned out to be a disaster, now what?

You planned the perfect date and then you got sick, now what?

You planned to lose weight and you didn’t, now what?

You planned to retire early and you didn’t, now what?

How do you respond to any of these scenarios?

Since any one of these is entirely possible should you stop planning?

Planning is a skill and an art; it’s something you can learn over time.

Sometimes planning for contingencies is necessary and sometimes it’s not. A pilot or a surgeon obviously needs more plan B’s than someone going for a walk.

Planning allows you to dream, think and decide on how you’re going to get where you want to go. However, your original plan will rarely be the one that works and this is something you’ll have to get used to.

P.S. This post was inspired by the internet being down this morning and that’s why it’s being posted later than usual, just another example of having to change plans.

What would your day look like if nothing bothered you? If nothing triggered feelings of anger, anxiety or misery?

Do you believe that you can have such a day?

Hopefully you’re hesitant to believe that you can have such a day. Because that means there’s at least a chance it’s possible.

What if you can’t do it for a day? What about an hour or a minute? Is that possible?

I know, I know, you have to think about it. Because you have to go through your list of what if’s.

What if your kids don’t behave?

What if your spouse doesn’t say the right things?

What if your co-workers, employees, employer…?

What about the traffic?

What about…?

And after going through the different scenarios you might decide that I’m being unreasonable.

Perhaps I am being unreasonable. But so what?

What if it’s time to be a little unreasonable?

Greatness and magic takes place beyond reason.

So just for today, or this next hour, commit to not letting anything move you towards anger, anxiety or misery, and live with being unreasonable.

Did you read any positive headlines yesterday?

Did you hear any good news?

Or was doom and gloom all you heard about?

If you allow the news, traditional media and social media to guide your thinking then you’ve opened yourself to being scared and pessimistic.

You see, these outlets know that fear, scarcity, poor self-image and loss are the best emotions to evoke if they want to sell to you. A common phrase in sales is ‘fear of loss is a greater motivator than an opportunity to gain.’ So all their efforts are driven towards making you feel fear, loss and insufficient.

Now you might not read the negative articles but just exposing your mind to the headlines is enough to influence your thinking. Studies have shown that headlines or teasers matter much more than copy or content because it’s the headlines your brain pays attention to.

Try and 24 hour experiment where you only listen to and read clean curated information. Give your mind a break from the news and advertisers that are constantly trying to get into your head and only allow you to have access to your attention.

What messages and ideas do you allow in to your mind under the guise of entertainment?

Do you allow bad ideas and negative thoughts to slip by your common sense because you’re being entertained?

What if just one of the bad ideas you’re being entertained by plants itself in your mind and now it becomes your idea and dictates how you behave?

Studies have shown that watching violent movies does make some people more aggressive than others. The problem is that you don’t know if you’re one of those people.

Violence is just one example of a negative behavior. What if you learn to be ruthless, vengeful, or deceitful just because of the entertainment you expose yourself to?

Children are the most vulnerable when exposed to entertainment because they have not learned to discern reality from fiction, but adults too can be influenced by the entertainment they expose themselves to.

Carefully curate the entertainment you allow to enter your mind, because you might not know until it’s too late what thoughts and ideas will take root and become a part of your identity.

What would happen if you did laundry on a Tuesday?

Or any other day except the day you usually do it?

Do you think you could break your laundry day routine for a week or two?

Does just the thought of changing your laundry routine make you feel uncomfortable?

Why? Were you born doing laundry on a Tuesday? Does it define you as a person?

If you’re so attached to something as simple as when you do your laundry because you believe it’s the ‘right’ time to it, imagine all the other things you’ve become used to doing, just because.

Occasionally stop and ask yourself why you do things a particular way. Is it something you learned, were taught or just fell in to at some point in life and now just do it out of routine?

Do you ever feel as though someone you know has and unfair advantage?

Maybe they have a physical advantage and are better at sports? Or they were born in a particular circumstance that gives them a social or financial advantage? Or, they are they are super smart and seem to know all the right answers?

Whatever it is, we’ve all experienced the ‘it’s not fair’ syndrome.

But what about your unfair advantage?

Do you even know that you have one?

What is your unique skill or talent that deep down you know you have, but are often hesitant to reveal? Or what have people told you that you’re good at or seems to come naturally to you?

Once you’ve identified your unfair advantage you will then be able to see how you’ve used it to your benefit in the past, and then going forward you can leverage it as a tool to accomplish future goals.

Sit down and be quiet.

Keep your head down and they won’t notice you.

Dress like everyone else.

Be yourself, but not too much of yourself or you won’t fit in.

Play it safe.

Color between the lines.

When you decide to stand for something or decide not to be like anyone else in your area of life you will feel unpopular. You will have to decide if you want to be popular and compliant or be who you really are.

Questioning the status quo on anything is not wrong; in fact in many cases asking why is the beginning of new breakthroughs.

The world will always need people that think and act differently and it’s up to you to decide which group of people you want to be part of, same as or different than.

Who has access to your mind?

Do they have your best interest at heart?

Are they trying to improve your life or improve their bottom line?

So what about your mind? Is it an open playground for anyone and everyone to enter and play at will, influencing you to think this way and that way without you having any control?

Giving access to your mind is the most important thing you can do because once you’ve granted access then influence begins.

Carefully curating the information you allow in to your mind is one of the most important things you can do you for yourself, because ultimately you will become a product of the information that you have granted access to your mind.

What is your version of a normal life?

Is it something you’ve seen characterized in a book, movie or magazine?

What is normal to you could be totally foreign to your neighbor, especially in the multi-cultural world of today.

So, if everyone’s version of normal is different, what picture of normal are you aspiring to?

When you were born you were a blank slate and everything you consider to normal today is a byproduct of the influences you have been exposed to. And this normality is uniquely yours.

The illusion of being normal is an individual experience that is used as a lens through which to view and compare the outside world to your own.

Attempt to suspend your judgement when you encounter situations and opinions that don’t fit your picture of normal and be open to learning. Be curious and ask questions before considering things to be – not normal.

Do you know that Mount Everest is 29,029 feet above sea level?

Do you know that DNA is short for deoxyribonucleic acid?

Do you know that elephants are the only animals that cannot jump?

If you already knew all these facts then good for you, but if you didn’t then you’re welcome.

The point of this is, what information do you have in your head or are you familiar with that you expect others to know? How many people have lived your life the way you have so that they would know everything you do?

When you ask someone if they know the answer to something and they don’t, how do you respond? Do you respond with surprise and attempt to share your knowledge or with a tone of condescension?

Even trained professionals in specialized industries don’t have all the answers in their head, but they do know where and how to get them.

The next time you’re surprised that someone doesn’t have the same information as you, show a little grace instead of superiority. Respond by sharing what you know. Remember, they might know that the distance to Jupiter is 365 miles because that’s what’s important to them.