When was the last time you just sat still?

No books, computers, phones, TV, or anyone else around you. Just you sitting still, alone with your thoughts, allowing your mind to digest, format, and process everything around you.

Skipping from one input source or task to another doesn’t give your brain time to absorb all the information it’s exposed to, and even more important, it doesn’t get any rest.

And it doesn’t allow you to think and integrate ideas.

Thinking is one of the most essential gifts humans have, yet it is often underutilized.

Decisions are made on the fly, between events and tasks, because there’s always the next thing to move on to.

But it doesn’t always have to be like that.

You can create space for yourself to sit and think.  

It doesn’t have to be hours of sitting. Just a few minutes between activities is enough to provide a brief reset so you can move to the next input feeling refreshed.

Give yourself the permission and the pleasure of learning to sit still.

Your mind will be grateful to you for taking it off the constant-activity treadmill for a few moments of rest.

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Do you have your auto-translate turned on?

You know, the one that takes words that people say to you and then gives them your meaning?

Your auto translate that says to you, hmmm, what did they mean by that?

You’ve probably been caught on the other end of someone else’s auto-translate – and you’ll know this because you’ll find yourself saying something like, that’s not what I meant, or that’s not how I meant it.

You see, what you hear is not always what’s being said.

In fact, many times, you’ve attributed meaning to a situation even before you’ve heard all the words.

This can be very problematic, especially if you tend to be of a defensive nature.

Your habit of giving meaning to words is deeply ingrained because you probably learned to do so at a very young age.

The environment you grew up in taught you a lot about words, but because you learned it doesn’t mean it was necessarily true. And what you learned is now very hard to unlearn.

But you can try, on occasion, to put your auto-translate on pause.

Let the words come at you, and hear them for what they are: sounds bouncing off your eardrums that you give meaning to.

Don’t forget, the next time you catch yourself saying, that’s not how I meant it; you’ll wish the person you’re speaking to would do the same for your words, too.

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When was the last time you behaved childishly?

Why is the phrase ‘you’re being childish’ a bad thing?

What’s wrong with being childish?

Being childish is beautiful.

It’s untainted.

It’s looking at the world with awe.

It’s fresh and uncalcified.

It’s innocent.

It’s curious.

It’s full of endless possibilities.

Somewhere inside you, a childish part of you is waiting for the opportunity to express itself.

It’s just waiting to have its Peter Pan moment.

Getting older doesn’t mean you have to rid yourself of your childish qualities. Even though your responsibilities change, you can still be in awe and wonder, and you can still believe in endless possibilities.

Let your inner child come to life again.

Not the version that was told by adults how it should be and behave, but the one that was the purest and most authentic version of you. 

It was the original you.

Remove some of the masks you’ve had to layer on with time and find that original childish version of you again.

Just because you’re getting older doesn’t mean you must always act and be ‘old.’

And one last thing

Tag you’re it 🙂

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How do you entertain an unwanted thought?

Do you welcome it?

Do you allow it to make itself at home?

Some thoughts are like unwelcome guests.

They’re rowdy, make a mess, and show no appreciation for your hospitality.

In fact, all they do is cause you to feel grief and discomfort.

And yet you allow them back in.

But you don’t have to.

Just like the unwanted guests, you can choose not to allow disempowering thoughts to get back into your mind.

Or at least learn to evict them when they do show up.

If you had unwanted guests, the last thing you would want to do is feed them and make them comfortable, as this would only encourage them to stay longer.

The same applies to unwanted thoughts.

You can get into the habit of ejecting an unwanted thought by replacing it with a different one. You see, even though your mind is a very powerful tool, it can only hold one thought at a time.

Now you have a choice of which thought you want to keep.

With some practice, you can learn to replace negative thoughts with positive ones – if you choose to.

Or like the unwanted guests. You can leave your mind open to any thought that wants to enter and wreak havoc at will.

The thought you let in might not be up to you, but you can decide how long you want it to stay.

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Newlyweds tragically killed in car crash.

Authorities say a new strain of COVID-19 puts millions of children at risk.

Banks threaten that a wave of foreclosures will ruin the housing market.

Stock market crashes.

Did you feel that?

The preceding headlines raised your blood pressure ever so slightly. Even worse, they tainted your mind for the entire day.

And yes, I apologize for doing so. But I’m trying to make a point.

I only wrote a few headlines.

How many negative headlines do you consume in a day?

Constant exposure to negative headlines is like allowing a boxer to jab at your brain relentlessly.

It will take its toll, especially if you begin your day with them.

You’re mistaken if you think reading the news or having the radio or TV playing in the background doesn’t affect you.

Your brain is always on and constantly scanning for information. And, due to an inborn survival mechanism, it will always seek out negative news first.

Ask yourself this question.

What would I miss if I didn’t hear or see the news for one day?

Or

What if I started my day with something positive and uplifting?

Would it change how you viewed the world?

I’m almost sure it would.

Yes, bad things are happening in the world, but most of them will not change your life.

So refrain from allowing headlines to color how you see the world, especially first thing in the morning. Your mind and your blood pressure will both be better off.

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You hear, but do you take time to listen?

You look, but do you take time to see?

You touch, but do you take time to feel?

You eat, but do you take time to taste?

Your senses connect you to the world and allow you to know and understand all that is going on around you.

Like most people, you probably take your senses for granted. And that’s understandable.

But what if, just once in a while, you stopped to appreciate them?

All the information you consume is sent to your brain through one or a combination of senses, and it’s only then that your brain can make decisions about what is best for you.

You can briefly focus on your senses by doing a quick sensory audit.

Go through each of your senses and, just for a moment, pay attention and experience each one.

Doing so will increase your awareness of your surroundings and allow you to be more present in what you’re doing.

Occasionally, grounding yourself through your senses is a beautiful exercise, almost like a brief reset in your day.

Your senses are your keys to the world.

Give them some attention and experience what they might unlock for you.

What will you do with your 26?

Will you malign or motivate?

Will you hate or love?

Will you create or destroy?

It’s almost impossible to comprehend the power behind the 26 building blocks of the English language.

Alone each letter seems powerless, just one small squiggle that is easily ignored. But when put together with thought and order, they have the power to set the world on fire.

If English is your first language, then each thought you express externally or internally is a collection of words built from these 26 blocks.

So, what will you do today with your 26?

I’m using mine to tell you how much I appreciate you.  And the world would not be the same without you.

What would the world look like if we all committed to a simple social agreement?

An agreement so simple we could all agree upon.

Well, at least most of us.

Okay, let’s narrow it down to just us.

You and me.

Are you in?

Here are the terms.

1. Make one person smile today. It doesn’t matter who it is.

It could be a co-worker, family member, friend, or even the cashier ringing up your groceries.

2. Think good thoughts about one person.

Again, it doesn’t matter who the person is.

3. Think of one good thought about yourself.

Yes, you are important too; you should know that about yourself. You’ve taken yourself for granted for way too long.

That’s it.

That’s the whole agreement.

It shouldn’t take more than a minute out of your entire day to execute all the items listed in the agreement.

Can I count on you to participate?

You can count on me.

Imagine what the world could look like if we all made a conscious effort every day to inject just a tiny amount of happiness into our lives and the lives of others.

I’m going to start by thinking a good thought about you.

Your car didn’t start?

You failed a test?

You were fired from work?

You had an accident?

Your heart was broken?

You lost a loved one?

You lost money?

You missed a flight?

Well, welcome to the club.

If you’ve experienced any of the above then you are member of the human club.

The fact is, difficulties and setbacks don’t just happen to you but also billions of other members.

The list you read is the shortlist. Many members have experienced and endured so much more.

I know when you joined the club, you weren’t told about all the things you might experience, but it’s because we didn’t want to scare you.

Now look at the list again.

Do you see the empty spaces between each question?

That’s where the beauty of life resides.

That’s where the fun happens.

And that’s what I want you to focus on.

That’s where your life will be moving along smoothly and you won’t realize it until you come up against the next challenge.

You will undoubtedly encounter challenges, but that’s the price of membership paid not just by you but by everyone around you.

However, if you can shift your focus from the price you pay to the benefits you get, and the moments you enjoy, then you’ll realize it’s well worth being a member of the club.

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When was the last time you painted by numbers?

Remember how the instructions clearly stated which color matched a number so you knew the correct color to be used on every part of the picture until, voila! You had a perfect piece of art.

What would have happened if the picture was incorrectly labeled?

You would still end up with a finished product, but it wouldn’t look like you expected it to.

Well, life is kind of like that.

You have an image in your mind about how life should be.

And you think you have all the colors.

But at times, the numbers are elusive.

Sometimes, you see them; at other times, they won’t appear until after you’ve painted.

And no one really knows which numbers and colors are matched together.

Your colors and numbers are unique to you.

Looking at your neighbor’s life is of little help to you since their colors and numbers differ from yours.

The beauty is that it’s your life, and you are painting your own original work of art, and although at times it might feel as though your life is similar to others, it’s still very different.

Your colors are your experiences, perspectives, skills, and talents.

So, use them all to create your own masterpiece.

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How’s that for a controversial title?

What do you think?

Is my statement incorrect?

Is your brain racing to search for examples of people from history or someone you know that you believe was wrong for sure?

I’ll help you out by taking some of the pressure of your brain.

Nobody ‘thinks’ they are wrong.

Is that better?

I hope we’re friends again.

What I’m attempting to convey is that nobody can ever really see the entire picture.

Everyone has their own perspective on what they believe to be real and true. And that makes is almost impossible to say if someone is really wrong.

I’m not making moral judgements on behavior here because even those are loaded with personal and cultural biases.

Your view on what is right and wrong is based upon the accumulation of your own experiences which are unique to you and only you.

So the next time you begin to judge someone as being wrong, try to pause for a moment just to remind yourself that you probably have no idea why they’re behaving the way they are.

And if after you pause you still feel that they’re wrong then feel free to let them have a piece of your mind.

But be prepared.

They might think you’re wrong for doing so.

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Cookie cutter.

Flawless.

Made to specifications.

Mass-produced.

Life is none of the above.

It’s different.

It can be messy.

There are no instructions that work all the time.

There are no guarantees.

Nothing is promised.

Not for you or anyone else.

And that’s the beauty of it.

That’s what provides you with the variety of emotions you experience.

Without sadness, you wouldn’t know what happiness feels like.

If you don’t experience anger, then you wouldn’t know the beauty that is calmness.

If you don’t know hate, you won’t recognize love.

Because of all your different experiences, you can really learn to appreciate the full range of emotions you have.

So don’t shy away from your emotions.

They’re not wrong; they are giving you a perspective. They add color to your life.

And remember, whatever emotion it is that you’re feeling, there’s always another one waiting for you at the other end of your experience.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please share it with one person you love.

What would happen if you built a birdhouse and birds didn’t appreciate it?

Would you chastise the birds?

Sound a little ridiculous?

Well.

In your life, who do you do things for?

What happens if they don’t appreciate what you do?

Getting caught up in the outcome of your actions is a slippery road to travel, especially when you feel you are doing something for someone else. Because the reality is that even when you do something for someone, you do it to feel good about yourself.

Doing things for others helps you solidify your identity as a good person. It reinforces that you’re the kind of person that does things for others.

Who am I really doing this for is an excellent question to ask yourself.

If you can find a way to derive pleasure and satisfaction from the act of doing and not from the outcome, you can possibly alleviate a lot of heartache.

The next time you build a metaphoric birdhouse, try to enjoy the process. Take pride in your work and the fact that you build beautiful birdhouses, even if the birds never appreciate it.

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How many imperfect decisions do you make every day?

If you’re like most people, I would guess you make many of them. But you don’t realize that they’re imperfect because they seem trivial.

The breakfast you eat.

The car you drive.

The clothes you wear.

The kind of shampoo you use.

And many more, just like these, are all imperfect decisions.

But you’re okay with these decisions because, in your mind, they are, to some extent, easily correctable.

The people you see and perhaps even admire doing great things in their lives are also making imperfect decisions.

They’re just willing to make them on a grander scale.

You might see them change careers, experiment with big ideas, or relocate thousands of miles from their homes, all based on imperfect information.

They have learned to get used to making imperfect decisions because they realize they rarely have all the information needed to make a perfect decision.

You, too, will rarely have all the information you need to make a perfect decision, and the interesting thing about information is that it can also change with circumstances and time.

So, if you find yourself stuck in an area of life that you want to change, don’t wait for more or better information.

Start making imperfect decisions.

And remember, everything you see around you was made by people who knew they had to start with imperfect decisions.

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What is your definition of independence?

Is there any such thing as real independence?

The dictionary definition of independence is -freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like of others.

In my opinion, if you agree with the definition, then there really is no such thing as independence.

Perhaps there is some truth to freedom from control, but the control doesn’t often disappear; it just moves from one controlling entity to another.

And as far as influence and support, well, we’re all being influenced and supported to some degree by our environment.

Maybe we should pronounce the word differently, perhaps a little slower.

How about in-dependence?

The reality is that we are all in dependence of something.

So, instead of feeling as though we as individuals can survive without all that is around us because we feel that we are independent – we learn to love and respect all because we understand that we are, in fact, in dependence on everything and everyone around us.

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How long would it take you to watch an unedited version of a movie?

Well, it would depend on the movie.

I was surprised to learn that sometimes it can run as high as a 240 to 1 ratio.

What does this mean?

Well, I’m glad you asked.

In one example, it means that there were 480 hours of raw footage time that were shot to produce a viewing time of 2 hours.

In essence, it would take you 20 days to watch the unedited version of the movie.

So, how does this apply to you?

As you go through your day looking at and interacting with people around you, all you see is the edited versions of their lives.

You don’t see or experience the raw footage.

And you make assumptions about them based only on what you briefly see.

Then, you look at the raw version of your life and make comparisons based on that thinly sliced picture of their life.

The edited version of someone’s life is always cleanly cut and stitched together to provide you with a pleasurable viewing experience. And in many cases, if they’re not doing the editing, then your brain is doing it for you.

It’s difficult not to draw conclusions from what you see because your brain is wired to do so. But you’ll be much more content in your life if you can teach yourself not to draw comparisons between the unedited version of your life versus the edited version of theirs.

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How many types of bread can you think of?

Your answer is probably not even close to the number of different kinds of bread that exist.

There are countless recipes to make bread, and cultures worldwide make some form of bread based on the ingredients available to them.

And the equipment used to make the bread also varies from state-of-the-art ovens to open fireplaces.

Well, your life is like a different and unique bread recipe.

You might be advised about paths to take and what to do, but the people advising you don’t have the same equipment or ingredients you have access to.

In essence, each life is a different recipe.

Now, like bread, there are some similarities, but even a slight variation in ingredients and temperature will result in a very different product.

And the same applies to you.

If you find yourself confused or frustrated because you feel as though you’ve got the right ingredients and have taken all the ‘correct’ steps but haven’t seen the same results as others, then realize that no matter what you do, your results in life will be unique to your equipment and ingredients.

So, instead of fighting your uniqueness, leverage it and be the best bread you can be.

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What will you regret later in life?

This is a hard question to answer since it falls in the ‘you don’t know what you don’t know’ category.

But what if there was a way to know?

Perhaps not 100%, but close enough to make a difference.

Well, there might be.

In the past few years, I’ve been extremely fortunate to have spent some time with individuals who are in their 70s, 80s, and even a few in their 90s, and I’ve seen some common themes of regret among them.

The one most mentioned is not spending enough time with family, especially those with children. They say that those first few years with their children slipped away much quicker than they thought they would, and they were rarely able to recover their relationships.

A close second is they wished they dared to be more vocal with their opinions. This should come as no surprise if you’ve spent any time around the elderly. They tend to say what’s on their mind and don’t seem to care what others think about them. This might be because they know their time is limited and realize the repercussions no longer matter. 

The last one I’ll share is many of them wish they had taken more chances, said yes to more opportunities during their life, and prioritized some of their dreams and interests.

There are many more, but I’m only sharing the ones I’ve heard most often.

I share these with you not with any guarantee you won’t have any regrets, but at least make you aware and maybe prevent you from having similar regrets later in your life.

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What is your self-worth tied to?

Is it tied to your effort or outcomes?

Do you put your self-worth in the hands of others?

Your self-worth is a very delicate thing to manage because no matter how hard you try, you’ll almost always be comparing yourself to those around you.

You can feel comfortable knowing that it’s very rare to find an individual that doesn’t experience doubts about their self-worth no matter how confident they might seem to be.

A constant comparison to those around you is a killer of your self-worth because you’re tying your worth to their lives.

The interesting thing about self-worth is that the better you feel about yourself, the better you’ll show up in the world.

Building a sense of inner confidence, security and a feeling of worthiness about who you are will give you a richer, fuller life experience.

A strong self-worth will permit you to attempt to do more things in life because you won’t judge yourself as ‘less than’ if you don’t always succeed.

Working on building your self-worth is a worthy mission.

When you learn respect and regard your self-worth as something you value then you’ll begin to notice that those around you will begin to value you too.

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