Your mind is always looking for a way to escape from itself and you help it by continuously providing it with distractions. TV, phone, text messages, social media, radio, family, work, which combinations of these do you use on a daily basis avoid listening to who you are?

These external inputs shape your thoughts, moods and ideas of who you should be and how your life should look. Whether you do it consciously or unconsciously every input demands a degree of attention and your brain is constantly being bombarded with new thoughts while it is trying to reconcile existing ones.

Commit sometime today to eliminating all distractions for a short period of time.

No TV or reading.

Do not respond to call, emails or text messages, unless of course you’re an emergency worker or physician on call.

Turn the music off as you drive.

Allow your brain to absorb your activities throughout your day and listen to your thoughts. See which thoughts are empowering you and which ones are affecting you in a negative way.  Researchers say that you have between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts per day, why not try to listen to some of them and see what they have to say.

Who are you going to blame today and for what? Are you going to blame your boss, your significant other, your co-workers, your children? Who is going to be the cause of your frustration, unhappiness, anger? How much time do you spend blaming people because they do not live up to your standards or your expectations, yet deep down you know that blaming them does not cure your frustrations?

I know you’re thinking, but it is their fault and you might be right. But how you’re reacting to it is up to you. Pouring your energy into how another person behaves only fuels your fire not theirs. When you find yourself beginning to blame someone, take pause and think about why you feel so wronged. Did they do it deliberately to harm you? Was their intent malicious? If so then take action, but don’t dwell on it with frustration. Acting in a calm directed manner will give you sense of control over the situation.

The thing about blame is that it easy to do and people will always give you an opportunity to blame them. But what if you didn’t? How would that look? Try it today and see what happens.

Do you feel energized or drained after you spend time with your friends? Do your friends challenge you and encourage you to grow? Do they support you on your journey or do they hold you back and say things like, you’re not the same anymore, and you’ve changed.

Do your friends spend their time gossiping about other people or discussing ideas and possibilities? Do they have things they too want to accomplish or are they too busy tearing down other people’s ideas? Are they producers or consumers?

If, when you are around your friends to you find yourself concealing your thoughts or compromising your values in order to fit in or not to hurt feelings then you might want to re-evaluate your friendships.

Remember the friends you spend time with will strongly influence how you see the world and will also be strong predictor of the results in all areas of your life, so choose them wisely.

When was the last time you felt alive? I believe there is a big difference in being alive and feeling alive. Being alive is what you do every day. Sitting in the same chairs, going to the same places, talking to the same people, driving the same route,  eating the same food and on and on until eventually a layer of rust forms over your senses creating nothing but a dull existence, essentially being alive.

Feeling alive on the other hand is that feeling of butterflies you had when you first held hands with a person of the opposite sex. The fear you felt on the top of a roller coaster. The nervousness you felt when you were asked to speak in front of a group. Feeling alive comes from not knowing what will happen next, it’s at this point that all of your senses are activated because biologically they have to be in order to keep you alive.

Try one of these activities this week to stimulate your senses and feelings you once experienced.

Attend a Meetup or an event where you don’t know anyone.

Take a class in something you’re interested in.

Talk or flirt with strangers.

Go to store you wouldn’t normally go to.

Do something creative and then show people.

Ask the server in a restaurant what their favorite item is and try it.

Go to an amusement park.

For the more adventurous souls, try bungee jumping, rollers skating, fencing, dancing or something else physical that you haven’t done before. Physical activities are fantastic for feeling alive because they stimulate both mind and body.

You’re here to experience life, so go out and do it while you still have the opportunity. Don’t just be alive, feel alive!

Think of an excuse for not doing something you know you should. We usually make excuses because we don’t want to do something, we are rationalizing why we are not doing what we want to do, or we don’t want to feel at fault. Now, like me some of you might say how is an excuse different from a reason? So, I did your homework for you : ) Apparently a reason is based on fact and underlying evidence whereas an excuse is an attempt to lessen blame.

What are your excuses for not doing something or acting in way that you know you should? I’ll help you by sharing some that I’ve used in the past:

I’m too busy

I’m too tired

I’m not sure if it’s a good idea.

I don’t know how to start.

I don’t do things like that.

Now is not the right time.

I’m not good at…

It’s nothing they haven’t heard before.

Some of these might resonate with you and that’s great because now you know you’re not alone. The thing is that most excuses are just poor justifications for not moving us forward to be the person we really can and want to be.

Today, think about something you really want to do and write down all the excuses that you’ve made for not taking action. Then say them out loud so you can hear yourself. This might sound silly and that’s my point. Hopefully hearing them out loud will make you realize how ridiculous the excuses are and how you can begin to take steps to overcome them.

Pause for a moment, take a deep breath, the kind where your tummy expands just a little and hold it for 5 seconds. Now exhale for 5 seconds. Do it right now. What are you thinking about? Did you really pause or were you in too much of a hurry to continue reading?  Did you say to yourself, I’ll read to the end and then do it? Are you really that busy? Or are you like most that just read and continue to move on without taking action? Will you really stop ‘sometime’ later today to make time for a breathing exercise?

Pausing for a moment and consciously taking a few deep breaths has been shown to calm the nervous system, release tension and increase focus. Taking deep breathes also helps to alleviate stress.

Taking time to breathe deeply can transform your life. It’s one of those activities that provide a huge return on a small investment.

Make today the day you commit to pausing to breathe. It doesn’t take very long, just a few minutes throughout the day, and hopefully you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the results.

As a kid and up until my twenties I didn’t realize the power of sharing. In fact I’d go so far as to say that I would take every opportunity not to share. I didn’t realize that the reason I wouldn’t share is because I had a scarcity mindset, to me sharing meant that I would have less. What I’ve learned since is that sharing is powerful. Sharing is saying, sure go ahead and take some of mine because I know that I can always get more.

Now some of you might say that logically if you give away a piece of something you have then technically you will have less and technically you are right. However, that piece that you give away can be considered your investment in humanity. Also, there are many different ways that you can share of yourself that might not make you feel as though you now have less.

You can share your time by volunteering or joining a non-profit.

You can share your knowledge, thoughts and ideas by teaching or mentoring.

You can share food by donating to charity.

You can make things and give them a way.

You can donate blood.

There are so many aspects of your life that you can choose to share from. Find one the works for you and try it. I can almost guarantee that you’ll feel happier after you do.

I recently had a conversation with a close family member about making a difference in the life of one person. During our exchange I shared the following story with her.

A young girl was walking along a beach upon which thousands of starfish had been washed up during a terrible storm. When she came to each starfish, she would pick it up, and throw it back into the ocean. People watched her with amusement.

She had been doing this for some time when a man approached her and said, “Little girl, why are you doing this? Look at this beach! You can’t save all these starfish. You can’t begin to make a difference!”

The girl seemed crushed, suddenly deflated. But after a few moments, she bent down, picked up another starfish, and hurled it as far as she could into the ocean. Then she looked up at the man and replied, “Well, I made a difference to that one!” (The Star Thrower” by Loren Eiseley)

This story has had a profound impact on my life because at one I time I too was a starfish that someone took the time to pick up.

Sometimes when I’m thinking about how daunting some of the world’s biggest challenges are and what I can do to help, I remind myself that if I can just help one person then I too can make a difference.

What if we all committed to helping one person?

What will be the last thing you say today to your children as you drop them off to school, your spouse as you leave for work, your friends, your co-workers? Will they be words of love, kindness, appreciation?

Very often we get so caught up in the small things in life that we forget to convey just how much those that are closest to us really mean to us. However we’ve become experts at conveying our negative emotions, almost automatic.

What if you really tried today to not get mad, angry, or upset? What if you knew today was your last opportunity to share your last words with the people in your life. What would suddenly become less important?

What would your last words be?

Embrace your quiet time. Being constantly ‘on’ doesn’t give you the opportunity to really think and connect with your true self. Many people fear silence because it allows their minds to wander and their fears begin to percolate. Some feel unproductive, lazy and even lonely when they are in silence.

Actively scheduling time for silence and using the time for introspection, meditation, prayer and thinking allows you to consciously cultivate your mind. I recently heard a CEO of a fortune 1000 company share how he schedules two days a week of thinking time on this calendar. He said that inevitably due to urgent matters in the business one of his two days gets taken but at least he is left with one day to think about how he wants to guide his company.

Spend some quiet time with yourself this week and let your thoughts guide you. Keep a pen and paper handy during your silent time and write down some of the things you think about. You might be surprised to see what your mind is thinking about when you pay attention.

A local Dallas venture capitalist recently shared a story of an exercise he conducts with his portfolio companies. They have an offsite event and during this event they are only allowed to talk about the future and not the past.

I’ve heard it said that you must look or focus on where you want to go because you can’t control anything that has happened in the past and I believe this to be true. Changing your focus away from the past allows you to create a vision that you can drive your life towards. It allows you to create a compelling future.

I’m not suggesting that you forget what has happened in the past because that’s where you can learn from, but if you dwell in the past then you will be inclined to repeat it since that is where your mind will be focusing.

So take a few moments today to practice thinking about and living in the future you would like to have for yourself and see how it feels.

This past weekend we lost a family member and as I was sitting in his house I was reminded again of just how important it is to pay attention to how we spend our time.

Are you spending enough time with family and friends?

Are you chasing someone else’s dream?

Are you accumulating material things instead of investing in experiences?

Are you constantly letting yourself be distracted by social media?

Are you spending your time talking about other people?

Are you really listening when people talk to you?

Of course it is natural at times like this to be reflective and think about what is important in life, but what if we had a daily practice to remind us just how important our time is. I know that it is impossible to always be ‘on’ and thinking about our days, but spending a few minutes each day to focus on one of the questions on this list could provide us with a fuller life.

I can’t do that.

I can’t eat like that.

I can’t behave like that.

I can’t listen to that.

Is it really that you can’t or is it that you don’t want to or choose not to? Saying that you can’t do something is a reflection of your thoughts regarding your ability. Changing your language and replacing I can’t with I choose not to or don’t want to will signal to your mind that you are in control.

I will warn you that there is going to be a social consequence to you if you decide to tell people that you don’t want or choose not do something. So be careful how you wield the power of your own choices and vocabulary around the people you spend your time with.

Lights, camera, freeze! Anyone that is even slightly familiar with the movie business knows that the preceding statement should be lights, cameras, action. The key word in the phrase is Action! I was speaking to a friend yesterday about a project he was thinking about working on and he told me about all the research he was doing for the project. My question was, have you actually done anything?

So many of us get to the point of actually doing the thing we need to or want to do and then we freeze because we are worried about screwing it up or failing or looking bad. All of these are legitimate thoughts but they are also the thoughts that hold us back from doing so much. The truth is that the first time you try something the chances are very high that you’ll be bad at it.

A term often used in the military is ‘embrace the suck.’ If you can move yourself to getting comfortable and curious about why you are bad at something you can then use it as a tool to get better and take more action.

Commit yourself today to taking one small action towards something you’ve been thinking about doing for a while and see what you can learn.

Constantly seeking external validation from friends, family and peers is a guaranteed way to lose who you are. We all have a desire to belong but very often we go about it the wrong way. Instead of being ourselves we curtail our thoughts and hide our feelings in order to be accepted. We put our self-worth in the hands of others seeking approval and validation. Yet we admire the individual that stands up and speaks their mind. We admire the trailblazer that people line up to follow. These ‘unique’ souls that take the stand and say this is who I am. The irony is that you don’t know who will align with you until you stand for you who you are. Your thoughts, ideas and emotions are what make you unique and special.

Renowned investor Peter Thiel has this great question “what is something you believe that nearly no one else does?” Answering this will be one step in finding and expressing your uniqueness.

To help I’ll go first. I believe that immortality will be made possible very soon. In fact back in 2003 I had expressed a desire to live to be 132 but now that I have young children I’ve chosen to extend it indefinitely.

Remember, validation is for parking tickets : )