This past weekend we lost a family member and as I was sitting in his house I was reminded again of just how important it is to pay attention to how we spend our time.

Are you spending enough time with family and friends?

Are you chasing someone else’s dream?

Are you accumulating material things instead of investing in experiences?

Are you constantly letting yourself be distracted by social media?

Are you spending your time talking about other people?

Are you really listening when people talk to you?

Of course it is natural at times like this to be reflective and think about what is important in life, but what if we had a daily practice to remind us just how important our time is. I know that it is impossible to always be ‘on’ and thinking about our days, but spending a few minutes each day to focus on one of the questions on this list could provide us with a fuller life.

I can’t do that.

I can’t eat like that.

I can’t behave like that.

I can’t listen to that.

Is it really that you can’t or is it that you don’t want to or choose not to? Saying that you can’t do something is a reflection of your thoughts regarding your ability. Changing your language and replacing I can’t with I choose not to or don’t want to will signal to your mind that you are in control.

I will warn you that there is going to be a social consequence to you if you decide to tell people that you don’t want or choose not do something. So be careful how you wield the power of your own choices and vocabulary around the people you spend your time with.

Lights, camera, freeze! Anyone that is even slightly familiar with the movie business knows that the preceding statement should be lights, cameras, action. The key word in the phrase is Action! I was speaking to a friend yesterday about a project he was thinking about working on and he told me about all the research he was doing for the project. My question was, have you actually done anything?

So many of us get to the point of actually doing the thing we need to or want to do and then we freeze because we are worried about screwing it up or failing or looking bad. All of these are legitimate thoughts but they are also the thoughts that hold us back from doing so much. The truth is that the first time you try something the chances are very high that you’ll be bad at it.

A term often used in the military is ‘embrace the suck.’ If you can move yourself to getting comfortable and curious about why you are bad at something you can then use it as a tool to get better and take more action.

Commit yourself today to taking one small action towards something you’ve been thinking about doing for a while and see what you can learn.

Constantly seeking external validation from friends, family and peers is a guaranteed way to lose who you are. We all have a desire to belong but very often we go about it the wrong way. Instead of being ourselves we curtail our thoughts and hide our feelings in order to be accepted. We put our self-worth in the hands of others seeking approval and validation. Yet we admire the individual that stands up and speaks their mind. We admire the trailblazer that people line up to follow. These ‘unique’ souls that take the stand and say this is who I am. The irony is that you don’t know who will align with you until you stand for you who you are. Your thoughts, ideas and emotions are what make you unique and special.

Renowned investor Peter Thiel has this great question “what is something you believe that nearly no one else does?” Answering this will be one step in finding and expressing your uniqueness.

To help I’ll go first. I believe that immortality will be made possible very soon. In fact back in 2003 I had expressed a desire to live to be 132 but now that I have young children I’ve chosen to extend it indefinitely.

Remember, validation is for parking tickets : )