Posted on by Raj Daniels

Choice Architecture

Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you. John C. Maxwell

These are the words I want you to read.

Now read them again.

Are these all the words in the English language?

Of course not, they’re just the words I want you to read.

Why am I being repetitive?

Because I’m attempting to make a very important point.

I asked that you read the first sentence which contained only nine words. According to Merriam-Webster, there are roughly 1 million words in the English language, yet I presented you with only nine to read.

This little exercise is to illustrate the concept of Choice Architecture.

Here’s the definition of Choice Architecture -Choice architecture is the design of different ways in which choices can be presented to consumers, and the impact of that presentation on consumer decision-making.

This will probably be one of the most important things you will learn in life.

Why is it so important?

Because you should know that all the choices you’re presented with, are not all the choices that exist.

Let that last statement sink in for a moment.

The majority of the choices in life that you’re presented with are limited for several reasons. First and foremost, it’s almost impossible to know all the possible combinations of choices that exist. Second, the person or organization presenting the choices to you has their and not your best interest in mind, so they present you with limited choices, essentially the ones that benefit them. And lastly, probably the hardest to come to terms with is your personal demographic i.e., your age, race, sex and income level will all determine the choices you’re presented with.

I really can’t emphasize enough how important it is that you really grasp the concept of Choice Architecture. After all, when you’re young, many of the choices in life are made for you, but once you pass your teenage years, then the rest of your life depends on the choices you’re presented with and the choices you make.

I hope you remember that for every choice you’re presented with, there’s an entire universe of choices you don’t see. And of course, some choices will be much more important than others. My hope is that after learning about Choice Architecture, you’re able to apply your personal filters to make better choices for yourself and ultimately for your life.

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Posted on by Raj Daniels

Start Right Now

Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. Francis of Assisi

What if you started right now?

I can hear your mind pondering the question. “Started what?”

Whatever it is you’ve been putting off.

Is there really a better time than now?

Even if you’re not quite ready, now is the best time.

You don’t need more time to think or prepare because you’ve thought enough and you’ll never be prepared enough.

If you think you need special equipment or tools for whatever it is you want to do, then write a list of what you need, but do it right now, not later today.

Don’t wait for that magic moment of inspiration.

Take action now and leverage the power of momentum.

Getting started on any new endeavor or project is always the hardest part because you’re battling inertia, aka, the status quo, and deep down you know that any new action you’re about to take will disrupt your current normal routine.

There’s a combination of reasons most people don’t attempt or start anything different or new. There’s the fear of the unknown or doing something different combined with the discomfort of change that holds them back. What they don’t understand is that these reasons, and the feelings they generate almost never go away. If anything is to be accomplished then action must be taken in spite of these feelings.

So that’s why you must start right now. If you wait then you’ll give additional oxygen to your doubts, and fears and your reasons will burn your dreams to the ground before you even get out of the gate.

Don’t wait any longer to launch your dreams.

Start right now.

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Posted on by Raj Daniels

Game of Life

“Life is a game, play it.” — Mother Teresa

The home run in baseball.

The ace in tennis.

The hail mary in football.

The hole in one in golf.

The knockout punch in boxing.

Almost all sports have their version of the perfect play. The one play that allows the player/s to score points with seemingly very little effort, however, these plays are few and far between. The majority of games are won by gutting it through, play by play, fighting for every point.

Whether you’re a sports fan or not, you’ve heard the stories of athletes that fail to give up. They fight through the losses; they keep playing their best, even when they’re losing. They seem to be relentless. And when asked why they keep doing it, why they push so hard, you’ll often hear some version of, ‘for the love of the game.’

Yes, professional athletes have the talent and are paid to play, but you’ll also find many average Janes and Joes, out on weekends playing sports and giving it their all. They all want to win, but even when they don’t, they walk off the fields, or out of the ring, with the satisfaction that they gave it their all, they did their best. All for the love of the game.

While sports might not be exactly the same as everyday life, there are similarities. And although in life, the game is unique to each individual, it’s still possible to take an athlete’s approach towards it.

I’m not suggesting you keep score because to do so, you’ll have to compare your life to others. What I am suggesting is that you adopt a few characteristics of athletes into your own life. You can apply the traits of relentless pursuit to be your best, grit, and one of the most important, the ability to bounce back from losses in your own life.

Viewing life through the lens of a game can give you a new perspective on your daily activities and challenges. Some day’s you’ll win and others you’ll learn from. Some day’s you’ll hit home runs and other days, you’ll be clawing for inches. Keep the athlete’s mentality, be strong and stay in the game as long as you can. Not for credit, not for the scores, but for the love of the game of life.

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Posted on by Raj Daniels

Widen Your Perspective

Widen Your Perspective

What if just for today you decide that everyone you interact with knows more than you do?

What if just for today you decide that everyone you meet has your best interest in mind?

How would your day look?

Does just the idea of being non-confrontational bother you?

If just the idea of being letting others be right or being non-confrontational bothers you, then what does that say about you?

It’s easy to be so attached to your own ways of thinking that you’ve decided that you’re ideas and thoughts are right before even hearing what someone else has to say. However, doing so not only makes you less approachable but also limits your perspective.

One of the ways to widen your perspective is to remind yourself that your beliefs and thoughts are rooted in your own personal experience of life, which by definition is unique to you.

Being more open to new ideas and thoughts doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to surrender your current beliefs, it does mean that you have to temporarily suspend your beliefs in order to evaluate new information.

Allowing the ideas of others to test your personal beliefs requires a level of confidence and self-awareness because it challenges you to your core and it’s hard not become self-defensive. But while it is difficult, it’s definitely doable.

Going through life surrounding yourself with people that think and act just like you might sound like an easier path to take, but rarely allows for true personal growth. Allowing your assumptions and thoughts to be challenged can be advantageous because new perspectives broaden the lens through which you view the world.

Intellectual humility is what philosophers call the willingness to be challenged by new ideas. Essentially it means being open to change while also knowing when not to. Try it for yourself and see if it helps you widen your perspective.

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Posted on by Raj Daniels

Against Reality

Reality doesn't bite, rather our perception of reality bites. Anthony J. D'Angelo

How often do you find yourself fighting against reality?

Maybe fighting is too strong of a word.

How about annoyed, frustrated, irritated, or just struggling with?

If never, then congratulations, you’re probably more emotionally evolved then most people around you.

However, if you’re like the majority of individuals then you must find yourself at times angry, upset, or irritated at situations that are beyond your control.

Traffic or flight delays, weather, business or political decisions made by those that are beyond your influence are examples of reality that is beyond your control. And yet, like you, countless numbers of individuals find themselves fighting against these realities on a daily basis.

So let me ask this.

How many times has your frustration with reality been able to change reality?

I would venture to guess probably never. Unless of course, you have a reality changing superpower that you’re hiding from the rest of the world.

But maybe you do have a reality changing superpower.

Maybe it’s not what’s going on in reality, but how you view reality that can help you better deal with it.

What if you’re dealing with one of the aforementioned situations where you really don’t have any control, and instead of defaulting to your normal settings of anger or frustration, you view it as a micro-test of your self-control?

As you continue to take these micro-tests your muscle of dealing with reality will get stronger, until eventually the majority of things that used to bother will, as they say, roll of you like water on a duck’s back.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

Or, of course, there’s always the choice to continue to fight against reality. The wonderful thing is that ultimately you get to choose how you spend your energy.

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Student for Life

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. Henry Ford

What if you remained a student for life?

When I say student for life, I’m not suggesting that you stay enrolled in some sort of formal education program. What I am suggesting is that you commit to being a lifelong learner.

Being a student is more of a mindset than a position or role in life. The majority of people equate being a student to a certain time in life, and that’s why once they are done with formal education they stop learning.

Being a student for life allows you to dwell in the sweet spot of the beginners’ mind. The beginners’ mind has the beautiful characteristics of curiosity, openness and is free of preconceptions.

When you think of yourself as a student for life you’re more willing to try new things because you’re always open to learning. And although you might be carrying the stigma of grades from your days in formal education, hopefully, you realize that grades only evaluated how you performed at that moment, and do not dictate how you’ll do in the rest of your life.

If it’s been some time since you learned something new then maybe today’s the day for you to become a student again. You don’t need to enroll in any official class or program, although there’s nothing wrong with that. Just start by spending some time thinking about what interests you and then read an article or book about that particular subject.

Look, by no means is it necessary for you to continue to be a student for life, and I as mentioned earlier, the majority of people stop learning the moment they don’t consider themselves students anymore. And if you want to be part of that majority, then that’s your prerogative. But, if you choose to be a student for life, then your curiosity and desire for learning will allow you to experience a freshness in life that the aforementioned majority will rarely experience.

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Under the Influence

What you see you become. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

What do you think of when you hear the words ‘under the influence?’

Does your mind lead you to think about some kind of substance, such as alcohol or drugs?

Well, you wouldn’t be wrong in thinking so.

But what about being under the influence of your environment, people, or even objects?

Whether you’re aware of it or not, you’re constantly being influenced by the people you surround yourself with and your physical environment. Oh, and the people could be in the form of actors that you watch, personalities or even still images that you’re looking at.

Your brain is susceptible to all kinds of influences that you’re probably unaware of, and eventual the influences begin to guide your behavior. You might think that you’re immune to such influences because they occur subtly, and over time, but you’re not. We are all susceptible to such influence. That’s why the entire business of advertising is based on exposure and repetition, because it works.

If you are going to be influenced, then why not intentionally design your environment with people and objects that lead you towards the kind of person you want to be?

You can begin to surround yourself both in the physical and digital world with objects, pictures and people that inspire, and ultimately influence you to be the version of you that you aspire to be. And like the advertising model, you can use repetition to your advantage.

Once you realize just how much influence your environments have on you, you can consciously begin to prune away all that is not conducive you becoming the person you want to be. Or, and most obviously, you can just leave yourself wide open to be under the influence of everyone that want’s to influence you with their own agendas. The choice is yours.

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Reconnect

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” ― Aristotle

You connect with family.

You connect with friends.

You connect with co-workers.

You connect with your devices.

But, how often to do you set aside time to connect with yourself?

How often do you sync up with your own thoughts?

At first, it might seem odd, or you might feel like spending time getting to know yourself is a waste of time. But setting aside time for introspection is probably one of the most important things you can do for yourself.

And if doing something for yourself doesn’t motivate you, then I can almost guarantee you that setting aside time to know yourself will improve with how you connect with others. So they’ll benefit from you spending time with yourself.

Consider a little time spent reconnecting with yourself as an investment in the future you. And like most investments, you don’t see the returns right away. But over time you begin to gain the benefit of compounding.

Also, think about this, if you’re not willing to invest time in yourself, how can you expect others to invest in you?

Look, the reality is that spending time connecting with yourself is not mandatory, and you can go through life just fine without doing so.

But, what if knowing who you really are could give you just a little added advantage in life?

Isn’t that worth exploring?

Ultimately the decision of spending time connecting with yourself is obviously up to you. I hope you think and believe you’re worth the investment.

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Posted on by Raj Daniels

Care Less

We all have two lives. The second one starts when we realize we only have one. — Confucius

How would your life be different if you cared less?

Now don’t confuse caring less, for being careless. These are two entirely different things.

Caring less is more about what others think of you, and even in some cases, some of the thoughts you have about yourself.

Caring less about everything else going on around you allows you to focus on what you believe to be important. Caring less helps you shut out all the noise and shine a light on what you want to prioritize.

Caring less helps you avoid the perfection trap. When deep down you know you’re doing or have done your best work, then caring or worrying less about the outcome allows you to be more creative and put more of yourself into your work.

Caring less has nothing to do with compassion or empathy for others; in fact, I would strongly argue that caring less gives you more compassion for yourself. Caring less what others think about you gives you the freedom to be more of who you really are; it allows you to be the most genuine version of you.

Caring less about what’s next also allows you to focus on the present, to really pay attention to what’s in front of you right now.

Caring less does not make you carefree, but it can alleviate some of the pressures and stresses of daily life.

Caring less can almost be thought of like a secret superpower. Just imagine all the things you could do and say, if you just cared a little less. But like any other superpower, caring less should not be abused.

So go out today and care just a little less than usual and experience how much more you’re willing to try, and reveal more of the real you. If you find that caring less doesn’t work for you, you can always go back to caring more.

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Posted on by Raj Daniels

Change Your Pattern

Replace judgment with curiosity. Lynn Nottage

Observe.

Judge.

Label.

And repeat.

This is an efficient process and allows your brain to take in a lot of information without getting bogged down. It allows you to move through life at a fast pace.

But what if you’re judging and labeling incorrectly?

What if you’re judging and labeling based on incorrect information?

When you judge something or someone, you have to compare it to something else, otherwise judging is impossible. More often than not, you’re judging against, good or bad, safe or harmful, friend or foe. And you’re judging against information you’ve been taught, experienced, or have been exposed to through some form of media.

Since your experience is limited, the majority of your judgments happen against information you’ve been taught or exposed to.

What if that information was already biased to begin with?

Now you too have the same biases.

So your yardstick that you’re judging against is not a clean slate.

Why is it important for you to realize this?

Because your biases and prejudices are inextricably tied to your belief system and your beliefs are what drives your day to day behavior.

There’s a high probability that you’ve either missed or are going to forgo opportunities that could be extremely beneficial for you because of your biases and prejudices.

But you don’t have to continue in this way.

You can instead change your pattern to:

Observe.

Be curious.

Label.

The act of being curious can be a game-changer for your entire life. Being curious instead of rushing to judge can open up a whole new world of opportunities and possibilities for you.

So see if you can go out today and modify your behavior pattern by being curious instead of being quick to judge. If you do, you’ll quickly realize that if you change your patterns, you’ll change your life.

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Sixth Sense

If prayer is you talking to God, then intuition God talking to you. Wayne Dyer

How do you feel right now?

How do you know how you feel?

How often do you pay attention to how you feel?

It’s very easy to lose touch with yourself, especially if you’re always busy or distracted. If you’re constantly on the go and only paying attention to what’s going on externally, then soon enough you begin to lose track and touch with all the signals your body is sending you.

You have powerful tools like instinct and intuition that are both very powerful sensors built right into your body. If you pay attention and learn to use them, they can become excellent allies. But you have to pay attention.

You’ve probably heard the phrase ‘sixth sense,’ well; instinct and intuition combined are your sixth sense.

This sixth sense you have has also been called a ‘gut feeling, hunches, or your inner voice.’ Your sixth sense is sending you messages all the time; you just have to learn to listen to it.

You might have already experienced times when you’ve followed or ignored messages your sixth sense sent you, and either benefited or regretted it later.

Learning to trust your sixth sense might sound a little silly or make you feel nervous at first, but once you really tune into the signals your body is sending you, you’ll find that it’s rarely leading you in the wrong direction.

How do you tune into your sixth sense?

Well, you begin to listen and pay attention. And when you do, you’ll start to hear and feel your body’s signals. And then, probably the most important step is that you learn to trust the signals it’s sending you. Once you do, you can start testing the results of your actions. After some practice, you’ll begin to experience the magic that is your sixth sense.

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Make Mistakes

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. - George Bernard Shaw

I have some news for you.

Well, maybe more of a reminder than news.

Here it is.

You’re going to be wrong.

You’re going to make mistakes.

You’re going to screw up.

At least I hope you do.

Sound a little harsh?

Well, before you jump to a conclusion, hear me out.

I’m not wishing ill upon you.

In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

I sincerely hope that you don’t bubble wrap your life to the point where all you do is routine, mundane and predictable.

I hope that you don’t get to the point in your life where it looks as though you’re living in a padded 8 x8 cell. A point where you’re playing it so safe that you could cruise through life with your eyes closed, because if you are, then you’re missing the point of life.

Don’t get me wrong.

I’m not advocating for you to intentionally make big glaring mistakes and to keep repeating them. What I am saying is don’t fear mistakes or being wrong.

Mistakes and errors in life can be amazing opportunities for growth. They become lessons not only for you, but also teachable moments that you can help others learn from.

The last thing I want to add is that I know there are those that fear being wrong or making mistakes, not because they’re afraid to try, but, because they are concerned about what others might think of them. In fact, I would venture to guess that more people would risk screwing up or making mistakes, if they knew that no one else would find out.

If you’re one of these people, then know that you’re not alone.

Your concern is legitimate.

However, eventually, you’re going to have to make a decision about your life. You have to decide if you’re willing to forgo the things you want to try, and let your dreams and desires wither and die on the vine just because other people might see you be wrong or make mistakes. Or whether you’re going to forge ahead, chalking up every mistake and screw up as scars you collect as you adventure through life.

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Re-Prioritize

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Why does life seem to get in the way of life?

If you’re like so many others then you too probably have a list of things you’d love to do. But you’re list is gathering dust, just like the lists of so many others.

Slowly but surely, over time, your list of all the things you wanted to accomplish begins to take a backseat to all the important and urgent tasks in front of you.

Why does this happen?

Well, there are a couple of obvious reasons that apply across the board.

First, there are those things that you think you’d like to do. But you’re probably interested in them because at the time you heard about them, they had a cool factor, and they seemed like something you might want to do. These kinds of things on your list wane with time, and perhaps you realize that you didn’t really want to do them.

But then there are the things on your list that still stir up a part of you that longs for them. These are the ones that make you smile when you think about them. These are the ones that keep drawing you towards them. These are the things that you know you’ll regret if you don’t do them. But you never quite prioritize or commit time for them.

For these things, you must learn to make time.

You must find ways to re-prioritize you’re life so that you can experience what can only be described as your calling.

You don’t have to make daily, weekly, or even monthly commitments for them, but you must schedule time to experience those things that bring sparks of joy to your life.

As you move through life, the number of commitments tends to multiply and before you know it, life begins to get in the way of all the things you wanted to do. But you still have an opportunity, no matter where in life you are to begin to re-prioritize. Re-prioritize so that you can at least experience a little of what you really want to do, and ultimately minimize your regrets.

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Posted on by Raj Daniels

The Gap

I exist as I am, that is enough. Walt Whitman

You’re working so hard, trying to close the gap, between more and enough.

The problem is.

You’re working in the physical world.

To close a gap.

That doesn’t exist.

Except within you.

You’re wearing down your beautiful gifts.

Your body, your mind.

To achieve more.

When enough is within you.

Filling the gap between more and enough is an impossible task.

Filling the gap between more and enough is a possible task.

True or False?

It’s up to you.

If you start from the place that you’re enough then more is optional.

If you start with you need more to be enough, then more is required.

Just to be clear.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with more.

The problem arises when you think, or even worse, believe you need more to be enough.

The sooner you understand and believe that you’re enough, the further ahead you’ll be.

Further ahead?

Yes.

Don’t mistake further ahead, as further than others.

This is your journey.

So, as you step out into the world today, cloak yourself with the confidence of knowing that you’re already enough. Go out and do your best, not for more, but just for the pure pleasure, the good fortune of having the opportunity, of doing so.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.

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You’re Disappointing

“Finding oneself while seeking approval of others, means the murder of self.” Mandy Hale

Today the chances are high that you will disappoint someone.

Why?

Because you’ll be non-compliant.

Because you’ll make a decision for yourself that will be contrary to what someone else wants you to do.

At least I hope you will.

I’m not suggesting or recommending that you set out on a regular basis looking for ways to disappoint people. What I am saying is that if you want to pursue goals and dreams that fulfill and satisfy your wants and needs, you’re going to have to build resilience and tolerance against other people’s disapproval and ultimately, disappointment with you.

There will be some people that will support and love you regardless of what you do, but those individuals are rare gems, and few and far between. You may only encounter a handful during your entire life, cherish them, and give them the same love and support they give you.

Disappointing others, or not seeking their approval is the price you have to pay for finding your own way, it’s the price you pay to becoming yourself.

Are you ready to pay the price?

Keep in mind, you’re not required to.

But if you don’t, there’s a chance that you’ll never really discover who you really are, or what you’re capable of.

If at some point during your life you don’t get used to disappointing people then you will never live your own life. You will always live the life other people want you to live.

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Posted on by Raj Daniels

Happiness Within

Find your happiness in yourself. Albert Camus

 

What happens when the thing that makes you happy today, no longer makes you happy tomorrow?

That once you grasp the object you desire, your desire for the object and the happiness it brought you, both disappear.

It’s been said that ‘happiness is fleeting,’ and if your happiness is tied to external factors then it’s almost guaranteed to be short-lived. You’ll begin to experience bubble gum happiness, the moment the flavor is gone, your happiness is over.

When your happiness is dependent on the things and people around you, you’re assuming you’ll be the same person forever. But soon you’ll realize that with time, you change, and that’s why the things and people that once brought you happiness, no longer do so.

So what’s the answer?

Well, you’ve probably heard it many times before, but since I have your attention, I’m going to take the liberty to re-iterate what you probably already know.

Try your best not to attach your happiness to the things you can’t control.

Yes, people and things both fall in the category of things you can’t control. I know this is not as simple as it sounds, but with practice, it’s close to being achievable.

If you choose to no longer attach your happiness to external factors then there’s going to have to be some unlearning on your behalf. You’re going to have to unlearn the messages you’ve been exposed to your entire life, showing and telling you how happy you’ll be if you just meet the right people, get the right job, or acquire the right things. Unfortunately, you’ve been misled.

You can still have all the things and people in your life, but if its happiness you’re after, then again, cliché, but true, ‘happiness is an inside job.’ It’s an emotion that you decide you’re going to experience and feel regardless of what you have or don’t have. Ultimately the choice is yours.

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First Step

“Fortunate are those who take the first steps.” — Paulo Coelho

Let’s do some math.

Don’t worry, it’ll be fairly easy.

Okay, are you ready?

Here you go.

0 x 10 =?

Too easy?

0 x 100 =?

Still too easy?

0 x 1,000,000 =?

One more.

1 x 1,000,000 =?

Did you get them correct?

I hope you did.

Do you know the percentage increase from 0 to 1?

If you said 100% then you are correct.

So why all the math?

To illustrate a point.

The difference between action and inaction is the difference between 0 and 1.

If you know anything about cars, then you’ll be aware the first gear that engages provides the most power to the transmission because that’s what’s needed to get the car moving.

It’s between 0 and 1 where you’ll have to gather your power, your courage, and lean into your faith as you take your first step. And your reward for doing so is that your first step will get you moving and provide you the initial momentum you need.

If there’s something you want to accomplish and you don’t take the first step towards it, then there’s literally no chance of you accomplishing it.

And yes, even if it’s the wrong step. Because in many cases you’ll learn even more from being wrong than you will from being right.

So if there’s something you want to accomplish, get yourself in gear and take the first step today. You’ll be 100% farther along than you were yesterday, and hopefully, now armed with just a little additional courage and knowledge, you can take the second step tomorrow.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Addicted

“If we are addicted to people’s approval, we will always experience pain when that approval is withdrawn – as it always is.” — Joyce Meyer

What are you addicted to?

Alcohol?

Drugs?

What about?

Respect?

Approval?

Love?

The latter three might not seem like addictions that can bring you as much harm as alcohol or drugs and to some extent, you’re correct.

Addiction to alcohol and drugs are more obvious to detect. Erratic behavior and odors are telltale signs of addiction to both, but when it comes to emotional addiction, only you really know you’re addicted. And while alcohol and drugs impair your cognitive abilities, emotional addiction stunts your mental growth.

The biggest problem with emotional addiction is that when you’re a child your natural instincts force you to do whatever it takes to stay alive and healthy.  And you learn very early that the more you conform to required behaviors, the more you get rewarded with respect, approval, and love.

So you learn to start playing it safe, not realizing that playing safe will ultimately prevent your own emotional growth. And then you take this behavior into adulthood because by now you’re addicted to the rewards. And eventually, your entire life is molded by your addiction to earning respect, approval, and the love of others.

At first glance, this might seem to okay.

But what happens when they don’t supply you with the fix you need?

Just like any other addict, you’ll start to experience withdrawal symptoms. These symptoms might not manifest themselves physically like the traditional substance addicts, but emotionally, you’ll begin to feel the pain.

So how do you break your addiction?

Well, just like the substance addict, you have two choices. You can either do it slowly over time, weaning yourself off the emotional addiction, or you can go cold turkey. The challenge with cold turkey is that there’s a chance that you’ll damage or at least cause tumult in some of your closest relationships. You see, those that are rewarding you emotionally are also expecting you to behave in certain ways, so your change upsets their world too.

The reality is that you don’t ever have to break your addiction. If you’re fine with the way things are then, by all means, continue on. But if you find yourself exhausted, or even occasionally stifled by the emotional labor you have to perform to get your fix of respect, approval, or love, then it might just be time to break your addiction.

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Posted on by Raj Daniels

Growing Pains

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Khalil Gibran

When does growth occur?

It’s been shown that in nature the most powerful trees and plants, the ones that are the most resilient are the ones that have had to battle the elements for survival. They have had to bury their roots deep into the ground and essentially hang on through adverse conditions in order to last.

You too are a product of nature and your growth also occurs when you encounter challenges and problems. It’s only then that you’re forced to lean into self-discovery and truly find out what you’re capable of.

Happy and fun times are wonderful, but they’re frictionless, and rarely teach you anything about yourself. And while you might have wonderful memories of the good times, it’s pulling through and facing the challenges that build your character.

It can be hard to view your struggles as your teachers, but if you’re able to do so then you’ll take the first step towards being grateful for them. You’ll realize that the event or experience you’re pushing through is indeed making you into a more resilient person.

Building your character traits of resilience, persistence, patience or any other trait that helps you overcome, or get through challenges is very similar to building your physical muscles. Your muscles have to endure a certain amount of strain and stress that cause them to breakdown in order to rebuild stronger.

So while you might not go through life looking for challenges don’t hide or run from them either. It’s the struggles, the growing pains that will test you and allow you to discover so much more about you that you might never have otherwise known.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.

Posted on by Raj Daniels

Delayed

Circumstances may cause interruptions and delays, but never lose sight of your goal. Mario Andretti

Imagine for a moment that you were going to go on a trip of a lifetime.

Close your eyes for a moment and think about a place you’d like to visit.

Are you ready?

All packed?

Okay.

Off you go.

But before you know it!

You’re at the airport and your flight is delayed.

What do you do?

Do you?

A. Cry uncontrollably

B. Go back home

C. Wait out the delay and try to make other arrangements

If you picked C or even a combination of A and C, then good for you, however, if you picked B then it probably wasn’t a trip of a lifetime.

Well, I have a little secret for you.

You’re on a trip of a lifetime.

It’s just one long trip with many destinations.

And you’ll experience many delays.

And you’re going to have to make choices quite often whether you go back home, in this case, give up. Or if you’re going to wait out the delays, make other arrangements and continue on.

Sometimes the goals that you’re pursuing are going to take much longer to accomplish than you anticipated, and you will feel disheartened and frustrated by this, but that’s okay. You’re entitled to experience your feelings, even on occasion, and if it suits you, to cry uncontrollably.

Your ambitions and goals are unique to you because you’ve never accomplished them before. And sometimes, in fact, probably more often than not, the time you give yourself to accomplish them will be incorrect. But that’s the nature of unique.

So back to the beginning of this post and instead of a destination, imagine a goal that you’d like to accomplish. If it’s really something you want to accomplish you’ll feel yourself being drawn towards it. Now off you go. And don’t forget, if you experience delays on the way, then you get to pick from A, B, or C.

P.S. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please share it with one person you love.