Raj Daniels

How many sound familiar to you?

I don’t want to be mean, but…

I don’t want to rude, but…

I don’t want to be sad, but…

I don’t want to be upset, but…

I don’t want to be negative, but…

I don’t want to be unhealthy, but…

But, but, but…

If you know how you don’t want to act then find ways to combat your behavior. You already know what it takes to be the person you do want to be, so stop being a victim to your ‘but,’ bury your excuses and become the one you do.

You might recognize the title of this post as the gardener’s manifesto; however these are the same steps you need to take if you want to achieve any large goal or change in your life.

Weed. Once you set out on a journey to accomplish anything you will start to doubt yourself and if you make your goal public then you will have others doubt and question your ability too. You will need to constantly remove the weeds of self-doubt from your mind because if you don’t then they will very quickly take over.

Water. This is the life force, the nourishment that you will have to actively seek out to grow your mind. Water is the resources, people, books, information etc. that you will need to apply on a consistent basis in order to create change and achieve your goals.

Wait. This is patience you will need to have as you are on your journey. You see huge trees around you every day but do you ever see them grow? The magic of the tree happens from the inside out and this applies to you too. The magic of change will happen in your mind first and then it will manifest itself in your life.

Repeat. If you’re committed to achieving your goal then you will need to perform these steps on a continuous basis, and you can’t skip anyone of them.

Learn to apply the gardener’s manifesto as it is a simple yet effective tool to create the change you want in your life.

This is the moment that will become your remember when, and your good old days.

This is the day you dig deep and find reasons to move forward and advance your life or you decide remain on the course you’re on.

This is the day you decide to do more for yourself, your community, your world.

This is the moment you decide to stop engaging in toxic relationships because you’re tired of feeling the drain on your energy.

This is the moment you decide how you will define your destiny and summon the courage to pursue it, or decide to live small because you’re afraid express your dreams.

This is it. It is your day, your time, and your moment. Own it. Play with it, create with it and live with it because you will never see today again.

Are the choices you make today going to result in the person you want to be tomorrow?

If yes then carry on as you are, but if not then perhaps it’s time to do something different.

You can be the person you want to be by behaving that way today, regardless of how the world sees you. Your path to changing who you are starts from a small kernel of thought that will eventually grow in to action.

Start focusing on who you want to be known as, how you want to be seen and how you want to feel. Write down a list of adjectives that describe the kind of person you want be and think about the behaviors associated with your words. And then behave accordingly.

Your new behavior will seem strange at first and it’s because your brain and body will be experiencing change, but over time it will become second nature and you will become your ’you of tomorrow.’

Is having your fingers crossed your strategy for getting the things you want?

I know this sounds ridiculous but it really is how many people operate.  They hope that somehow, something will magically happen that will make them happier, healthier, wealthier and whatever other ‘ier’ they want in their lives.

Nothing you want in your life is just going to happen, even if you wait long enough. You have to be the catalyst, the reason for the things, both emotional and physical to appear in your life.

Study and research the things in life you want so that you learn how to bring them in to existence. And resolve today to uncross your fingers and commit to making a plan to creating the life you want.

Are you familiar with the phrase ‘first mover advantage?’

Essentially what it means is that if you have a product or service and are first to market it with then you have an advantage because you have little or no competition.

There’s also a ‘second mover advantage’ which you might have heard of. In this case you get to learn from the market leader, copy what they did well and beat them at their own game. It’s also known as the second mouse gets the cheese because the first mouse got smacked by the mousetrap.

And yes, there’s even a ‘last mover advantage.’ This is where there have been so many improvements that the last mover can take advantage of all the combined learnings and save time and money from avoiding the mistakes that the first and second movers have committed.

However, there is not a ‘no mover advantage.’ And you might think this is obvious, but how much are you moving towards what you want?

Are you actively taking steps physically and mentally to gain your advantage or are you sitting, stagnant, waiting?

Start moving today towards the life you want. Make a plan and work on it. Move, move, move and you’ll see the advantages come your way.

What can you be grateful for today?

Actively seeking opportunities to be grateful can shift your entire perspective about your day, especially if you learn to be grateful for the little things in your life, the ones you usually take for granted.

Be grateful for things like running hot water and electricity on demand because there are still billions of people that don’t have reliable or in some cases any access to these luxuries.

Be grateful for your health. Even if you do suffer from the occasional ailment, the fact that you are alive and still experience life is definitely something to be grateful for.

Be grateful for family, friends or any other relationships that add to your life.

Being grateful allows you to build a foundation of positive feelings for all that you currently have and experience. Begin to actively practice gratitude and you will find that it will help you deal with the challenges and problems you face in everyday life.

What are you really good at?

I mean so good at it that people tell you that you’re good, or they say that they wish they were as good as you at this one particular thing. Do you embrace what they say or do you discount or negate it as anyone can do it?

More than likely you have a handful of skills that come to you naturally; these are your natural talents, your gifts. However, because they are second nature to you, you take them for granted and assume that everyone has them too. So you neglect to leverage them for your benefit.

Somewhere in the world there are successful people that have similar gifts as you and the only difference between them and you is that they have learned how to leverage and ultimately capitalize on their natural gifts.

Make a list of things that people have told you that you’re good at and identify the ones that come the easiest to you. These are your natural gifts and you should spend time improving them because then you can design your life around doing what you’re good at.

How do you handle pressure?

The pressure that comes from dealing with relationships, work, finances etc. can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially if you’re the kind of person that tends to combine them all in your head as one big ball.

However, pressure and stress are a natural part of the growth cycle. Everything you see in nature that has existed over time has undergone tremendous amounts of pressure and stress. Pressure and stress are the twin forces that have been responsible for the fittest and the most adaptable to continue to survive and thrive.

Journaling can be a great way to deal with stress because you are able to get the things that are causing you stress out of your head and out on to paper which can very often lead to giving you a new perspective on your problems and lead to new solutions.

The twins are never going to go away they will just change over time depending on your stage in life. So, instead of wishing that you have less pressure it’s wiser to spend your time developing coping mechanisms that can help you deal with it.

Where will you spend your energy today?

Will you spend it on things that really matter to you or will you give it away to every request and distraction that comes your way?

The majority of people remain in a reactive state just waiting for the next demand on their energy until their too tired to do anything else and they’re off to sleep. If at the end of the day you took a few minutes just to evaluate how you spent your energy you’d probably see that very little of it was actually spent on you.

Taking just a little time out throughout the day to focus your energy on yourself will give you sense of control over your own life, and can also prevent you from feeling like a victim of circumstance. Make it a daily practice to carve out a few minutes during the day to focus your energy on what you’re doing and how you’re feeling.  After all, it is your energy so shouldn’t you spend some of it on you?

Will owning one more thing really alter the trajectory of your life?

If you gave away some of what you currently own could it change someone else’s life?

Owning possessions just beyond what you need is understandable because it provides a sense of security, but when you get to the point where you no longer remember or even use what you currently own then perhaps it’s an opportunity to ask yourself if you really need more.

Creating a practice of continuous contribution will not only help you declutter your home, it helps shape your identity as a person that is also willing to give to others. Contribution can give you a deeper fulfillment that buying rarely does.

Make a regular practice giving away things you no longer need or use. Take a step today and find 3 things that someone else could use and give them away. Your home and your mind will feel better for it.

How much time do you spend being angry at a person or an event?

How do you justify the length of time of your anger?

Do you have an equation in your head that tells you to stay angry for a minute, day or even years based on the thing that made you angry?

Anger is a funny thing because although it is a healthy emotion and there is a reason for its existence, staying angry indicates that you are either re-living the incident that made you angry or thinking about an event that might happen in the future.

If you choose to continually re-live events from the past then I strongly suggest you choose the ones that made you happy. For no other reason than they are better for your overall well-being. And if you’re choosing to be angry about something that might happen in the future, well that’s as ridiculous as it sounds.

Grab a pen and paper and make a list of all the reasons you’re angry at a person or event. Now eat the list! Just kidding! Study the list and ask yourself if there might be other ways to express how you’re feeling or even if it’s worth spending any more of your energy being angry.

Do you tolerate other people’s crappy behavior just so that they’ll invite you back?

Do you make excuse for why you don’t speak up just so that you they’ll think you’re one of them?

Do you pretend to be one of them when you know deep down that you’re not? Why?

Why do you keep pretending to be someone you’re not? Are you afraid you’ll be alone?

Pretending to be someone you’re not is going to tear you apart. You’re going to continuously struggle to balance your multiple personalities. So the sooner you stop the easier your life will be.

Take a stand for you who are and for what you believe. At first you might not get invited back by the people you thought were your friends, but over time you’ll find people that want and love for the real you to show up. You’ll build relationships on you who you are. You’ll find your tribe.

Make commitment today to start sharing more of who you really are and to stop hiding behind the fear of being rejected. You might be surprised at just how many people want more of the real you.

Have you ever had your thoughts controlled by someone else?

Well today I’m going to take over a small part of your brain. For some of you it’ going to be only for a few hours but for the rest of you it’s going to be for a long time. I’m giving you fair warning, so you can stop reading now or continue at your own risk.

Okay, are you ready? From this moment on every time you see a Silver car you are going to smile.

That’s it, I’m done. I have now planted a seed in your brain that quite possibly will live in your brain forever. Years from now you when you see a silver car you will find yourself smiling and not quite remember why.

Now you might be curious as to why I did this to you. And the answer is that I want you be aware of all the information you expose yourself to and how many people with bad intentions are also planting seeds and ideas in your brain. Also how vulnerable your brain is to being influenced.

Today as you’re out and about smiling at silver cars think about the other sources of information you expose yourself to how your thoughts are being influenced.

What would you do if you could spend your time today doing anything you wanted to?

If you had no demands on your time from work or family obligations what would you do today? Indulge me for a minute and think about it.

Those of you that did spend a minute thinking about it will experience a slight yet beneficial boost in your mood and energy levels. And those of you that didn’t play along should really ask yourselves, why not?

After all, I only asked you to commit a minute of your time to think about something that would make you happy and is important to you.

If you cannot commit to 60 seconds to think about what you would like to do with your time then it really is time to re-evaluate your life. Because, any real inspiration you feel in your life is going to be based on you thinking about how you want to spend your time.

I know that deep down you want your time and ultimately your life to matter, because most people do. So please do take that minute I asked for earlier to think about what you would do with your time because at the root of those thoughts you will find what matters to you.

Do you know that the first humans that settled in South America walked there from Asia?

They walked across the original Siberian land bridge that connected the continents and made their way south. And you share the same DNA as those first humans.

You also share the same DNA as the humans that set sail from distant shores and made their way sailing around the world, often spending months in the search of new land.

You share the same DNA as the people that came together to put a man on the moon.

People just like you have beaten all kind of odds and have overcome tremendous obstacles to reach destinations they never knew were possible.

Your DNA contain seeds of greatness and can take you places you that you can’t even imagine are possible, if? If you let it. If you let your DNA live up to its potential it will perform miracles.  So, unshackle your DNA and let it live, let it explore, let it drive you forward.

Do you ever just want to be done with something, but you haven’t even started it yet?

Do you imagine the end of a project, a goal reached, something important finally completed but you haven’t taken the first step to doing so?

We all want feel that sense of accomplishment, but we can’t until we start.

The reason the end comes after the beginning is because that is the natural order of things. You have to go from 1 to 2, and 2 is twice as much as 1 so the effort required to getting there is also twice as much.  But sometimes when you take the first step the sheer momentum can sometimes carry you forward to the next step.

Sometimes your small steps will seem trivial and small, almost as if they are half steps, but the compound effect of your small steps will accumulate over time. Take a half step today towards one of your goals or projects that you’ve been thinking about doing. You might feel a little unnatural or even scared at first but the minute you take your first step you will no longer be the person you were yesterday.

How do you measure progress?

This was a question someone recently asked me and my response was that progress can only be measured if you know where you are right now.

The problem with this is that most people don’t take the time to evaluate their current state. And there are reasons they don’t. Some don’t want to know, others think it takes too much time, while some assume that because they’re moving they are progressing.

By definition progress is the movement towards a destination. So, if you don’t know where you are and where you’re going then progress is almost impossible to measure.

Now there are times when it’s okay to just wander or go on a classic ‘walk about’ without a destination in mind because much can be learned from those experiences too, but if you’re looking for progress then you’re going to need to be more specific.

Measuring progress is not hard as long as you know what you are moving towards. However, slow progress can be challenging because you need a certain degree of mental fortitude to continue on. And usually the bigger the goal or destination the slower the progress feels. Take a step today of measuring progress in one area of your life by evaluating where you are, where you’d like to be and how you’ll get there.

Do you ever spend any time remembering who you were as a child?

Somewhere deep inside you are the traces of the kid that believed anything was possible. There are traits that you have suppressed because you were told you had become an adult. You had to fit the mold that others designed for you.

Some of the traits that you have suppressed are your natural given abilities and you never allowed them to ever come to fruition. Because for whatever reason, whether external or internal you decided that those traits would not be accepted or would not be beneficial in adulthood.

The unfortunate thing is that at your core those traits, like weeds will always be trying to surface and you will spend your entire life fighting them. So why not embrace them?

What were those things that you enjoyed doing so much as a child that the world could have stopped and you wouldn’t have noticed?

The desire to do those activities are still somewhere inside you. Make a list today of all the things you used to enjoy doing, you’ll see that it probably isn’t a very long list. Choose one of the activities and find a way to incorporate it back into your life. I guarantee that when you do you’ll find yourself grinning from ear to ear just like you used to as a kid.